Saturday, April 18, 2015

Half and Half

At the end of 2014 I made the decision to move back to the city. I was living in the suburbs close to the school district in which I teach, but wanted to be closer to family so that I could have more help with the baby. This has made for a lengthy commute which is taking time away from my life overall, so I am in the process of applying for jobs in this.

Though I do not want to teach in the city schools, I was thinking about a private school or university job at this point. I would love to work for a non-profit doing some counseling or social work, but that would require a pay cut of up to half of my salary. Plus, I'm just not sure that would be something I would like doing.

To add to my "dilemma," I found that I am being transferred to a high school in the district where I teach next year. I am extremely happy for this opportunity, and am thus feeling the decision to change jobs all together even the more difficult. Truth be told I have a sweet gig and don't want to give it up despite the long commute. I am going to have to trade off somewhere no matter what I do, so perhaps the commute is the best trade to make???...

I'm finding this even as I prepare to move into my own place. In fact, I am actually thinking that living with my parents one more year rather than moving to another place- in a city location where I don't want to live just to be closer to my son's grandmother who would watch him daily free of charge, only to have to move again in a few years when he goes to school- is not the best idea. I really need to live in the present right now.

So I'm trading off a commute for a job with more security and provision of financial (and social) stability.
I'm trading off free babysitting for the cost of rent.
I'm trading off my privacy (living with the parents) for saving to live somewhere that I really WANT to live later on down the line (so that my son can be in a good school system).

The biggest issue is that I really don't feel that I have as much time with my baby boy as I would like. That is probably every great mother's plight. But this summer will provide for some quality time, and I am really doing my best to keep us in the car for less time than needed these days.

In life, we always have to give to get. But it's nothing that can't be done, that can't be worked on, that can't be compromised. I have faith that it will be what it should. Since no matter what, it's always "half and half." Six in one hand, half-a-dozen in the other. 50-50...You catch my drift... ;-)

Friday, April 3, 2015

As they come along

My newest struggle has been where to move this summer. Having a young child and being a mom that will be living on my own with him has really had me making some new considerations. Safety and proximity to his grandparents (paternal for daily/weekly childcare and maternal for other support) has been the focus. However, looming in the back of my mind is the school situation. Yes, we still have about 4+ good years until I have to make that transition, but I would like to set my son up with the best public school situation possible if need be. In a city, finding the right neighborhoods for doing so comes with a price. I really need to pay that price now? A friend of mine put it into perspective reminding me that a lot can happen in 4 years. "You could be married with another little one on the way by then, living out in the burbs again." Okay, so I wasn't counting on that per say, but she is right. Why would I pay a higher cost now for something that is so far down the line? With the money I cut from rent I could be saving for a new place, or even for private school. I have to keep all of that in mind.

The same goes for child care. Zavier's grandmother has volunteered to watch him free of charge when I go back to school next year. I am so thankful for her support and care, but I know that he will miss being with kids as he is now with the sitter. Therefore I've been looking into day care centers (near my job due to scheduling) for 2 days out of the week. The costs are UNBELIEVABLY EXPENSIVE! I was already aware, but then became FULLY aware after doing my research. And even though I have help from his dad, I still can't decide if the astronomical cost is worth it. Hmm...think I'm just going to have to get him into some type of kiddie classes or something. More research...

That being said, I think it's time to just keep thinking in the immediate future, and leave the the distant time to come there. I will let the chips fall where they fall, knowing that if it seems like too much work, it probably is. As I told that same friend, God lines things up for us nicely, in ways we may not have even fathomed. I'll stop trying to then, and instead try to recognize them as they come along.

Thursday, April 2, 2015


I honestly have a sickness: I applied for a summer job. I know, I know. I talked about "working smarter, not harder." And I still agree affirm that. In fact, the job that I applied for is only 6 hours per week and pays $35. The summer teaching program lasts just 5 weeks with 4 day weekends. Not too shabby...

But do I really need this job? No. I'm good financially and time with my son is still my primary focus for this summer. So I just need to sit back and get away from all things job search engine. Ha!

Besides, I still have 2 more online courses to finish for a pay increase next year, and a Spanish exam online grading position currently in the works. That should be more than enough to keep me going...

I'm just getting antsy. But come summer I will have lots to do like playing all over the city and looking for a new apartment. So with so much extracurricular work, who needs a job anyway?

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Saying "No"

I'm going to put that "work smarter, not harder" thing into practice. Recently a former employer contacted me for a teaching position this summer. For a moment, I actually considered it- the job was just fine in the past and the extra money wouldn't hurt either. However, the hassle of getting my son child care and simply not spending time with him this summer won me over. I said "No," and and though it was hard for this worker, it feels great to know that I have my priorities in order. :-) Money and work will come around again, but this time I will never get back. Time to cherish it!

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Continuing to make it happen

I was listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Something he said to a caller struck me: "If something keeps entering your spirit, there is a reason." To paraphrase, this means that there is something we should be doing about it, but we often try to rationalize ourselves out of it. The minute that we act on it, the vision becomes more clear.

I couldn't agree more. And there are several things that keep crossing my mind. I just keep getting tripped up on where to begin.

So...I just took some time to write them all down. I am then going to write down exactly what I need to do each of them. This will help me prioritize and know how to begin.

Here's to continuing to make it happen. :-)

"More-All" Support

Today I stopped and really thanked God because I saw just how fortunate I really am. Upon making the decision to leave my last relationship, I was really concerned about being a single mother. I thought that I'd me just one more statistic and that I would have a hard time making it without shame. I couldn't have been more wrong. I have gotten nothing but unconditional love and support from my and his family as I go through this transition, even more than I may have if we would have stayed together and so isolated from the support system.

Last night was further proof of this as I sat on the couch ready to go out with a friend. I had already put the baby to bed and both my aunt who is visiting and my brother had volunteered to keep an ear out for him while I was out grabbing a drink. I was furthermore excited as I was going out with a friend that I hadn't had the chance to in quite sometime- and no one was more deserving. She has three very young children and has had it rough over the past few months. She was finally getting out and hanging out, thanks to the generosity of her family.

Unfortunately, though, she didn't make it. She had to go back and tend to her youngest who wouldn't sleep, according to her sister that was keeping. It seemed so minor to me- my family would have tended to Zavier without a problem and I probably would have never even know that there was an issue. Yet, my friend was at home being mom again and I was off to bed.

And thus I was left to think of how blessed I am. I have more- no all- of the support I both need AND want. I don't take it for granted. And because of it I will love even harder.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Final Birthday Plans!

It's official- My 32nd birthday will be spent here locally with my girlfriends and family. After work next Friday, 10 or so of us will be getting sushi then partaking in a 2 hour paint and sip class. I think it sounds divine and I am looking forward to another great year!

In the meantime, I'm going to call my hair dresser to see if I can get a blue/black rinse in. I think I need to try a little something new as I go into 32...

Hehe. ;-)