Where should AngelQT spend her 32nd birthday?...

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Biker Moms

My mom is the best! I was telling her all about my exercise woes and she began sharing her exercise triumphs. One of which was her success with the Weight Watchers Points Program. That coupled with her exercise routine is causing her to get and keep her weight down. She suggested that me being the new mom do the gym as I am able, but understood my plight in not being able to do so as often as I would like. I asked her what she thought about a treadmill. I had been considering one for a while, but had some concerns with it being so large, bulky and stationary, especially with a new crawler around. She agreed, but emphasized how much her regular bicycle had been helping her out. "So what about a portable exercise bike?" she asked. Brilliant! Not only could I get cardio in that way, but I could also move the bike out of the way and into another hallway or walkway when not in use. I found the PERFECT one on wayfair.com and for the perfect price (Top Cashback.) Well, I already have my scooter that my hunny bought me to help me save on gas and now this bike to save on calories...Score!...As I view some of the new healthy recipes that my mom is currently e-mailing me I'm feeling even more in shape. Hehe. Hey, Guess mom really does know best... :-P
plus a 5% cashback discount from

Too good to pass over... ;-)

I came across 2 links this week that I just had to share. They made my traveling-hearted day...

Want to go to Copenhagen, Reykjavik or London on the cheap? Check out WOW Air. They are having a sale now on summer fairs from certain US cities.


Ah, Spain. You will always live in my heart. This Buzzfeed article reminded me of 41 reasons why...


Man, could I go for an authentic shawarma right now! The Palestinan guys near my Granada apartment did it best. Sigh. And with that- and the changing weather- I think that I am going to have to make an Azteca tonight...


Life in Stride

This past week was rough! I'm actually at home sick trying to get myself back together. My mom was kind enough to keep baby boy so that he wouldn't become susceptible to his mother's contamination and so that I could sleep of this virus. The cold remains, but the fever is down and my energy is up. I'm really blessed to have such great family on both sides who love us all so dearly.

But feeling bad physically is a result of staying busy and doing a lot of running around for things that make me feel good. I spent a lot of evenings this past week doing extracurricular activities such as a concert with the boyfriend, a meeting with a local friend and a counseling session, all things that brought about some fun. And though I still had to get up daily for work and take the little one to the doctor on Thursday afterward, I like my job and my got a good report about Zavier's health. So, all's well that ends well...

One of the things that the counselor reminded me was that I need to slow down, do things little by little, take life in steps and in stride, ask for help when I need it, and don't be ashamed to be human. This is why as soon as I felt that I was coming down with something, I called my mom to help with Zavier. As hard as that was to "allow myself" to need help, she obliged, naturally. In fact, she is having the time of her life with that boy. I probably won't be able to pry them apart when I go to get him tomorrow... ;-)

So that means today I have a chance to recuperate and take it easy. I can do what I can around the house and go easy on doing it, while not at all feeling guilty. I've already addressed a card to my niece, brought some winter clothes from the attic and payed some bills. So I think sipping tea for a bit will be well warranted...

;-) :-) :-D

Saturday, October 18, 2014

To the mountaintop!

I do not even know where to begin. Recently I've been feeling a little limp. It's almost like I have on these brand new, ultra-grip sneakers, but can't get my grip as I'm climbing the mountain. It's like I know where I want to go, but between my emotional and physical state and lack of time I am unable to reach the top.

I started talking to a friend about it and she seemed to agree with me that counseling may actually just be the best thing for me right now. Interestingly enough, I got home that same evening and my boyfriend mentioned it too; Without me even saying a word he read me like an open book seeing that I am off. I have been saying since Zavier was born that I should go talk to someone to help me sort out my feelings and regain a sense of normalcy, but I must admit that even THAT idea makes me stressed wondering how I am going to fit one more thing into my schedule. Yet, [the counselor] would probably be able to help me figure that out, so...yeah.

I have a degree in counseling, so the idea of going to see one is not at all upsetting. In fact, I am welcoming the idea, because I am realizing that I am not myself and that everyone around me can see it. However, they remind me that the core of me is still there, and that I can climb that mountain. All I need is to understand how to place my feet. That takes re-training. That takes remembering how I did it before with some minor tweaks now that I am carrying some new cargo. Yes, I am still a climber, but I am one who is looking at a new method. And I am realizing that even the best of us need to regroup, reorganize and refocus. When we don't know how to do that, we ask for help. And THAT right there is what is going to get me to the top!

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Let's Get this Show on the Road!

I cannot believe that a few weeks without blogging have slipped away from me. Yet, when I look back over the last few weeks, it seems understandably so. The boys and I have been sick which has called for some extra attention to the baby and doctor's visits for him. Not to mention that he is teething :-/ That coupled with our work schedules that haven't been lining up in the traditional manner and have left us quite tired. Yes, blogging took a back seat.

But I have some time here before I take a little nap while daddy and son watch some football. Hehe. So what's been going on? Well, not much, really. Just been finding time to exercise which has me feeling MUCH better! When I don't make it to the gym, I work out at home even if for a few minutes each day. We are also starting a walking competition at work which should help me stay on track, and I will be doing step classes there before picking up the baby on Monday afternoons. More so, I want to start training to run a 5k in the spring, so I am about to get into the beat so that I can be beat! :-P

In other news...I talked to my boss for some advice on my professional life. She seemed to be advocating for me to make a work move to the high school level, to start getting more involved in other educational activities and endeavors and to get my AP Spanish teaching certification. She also seemed to like the idea of me getting a doctoral degree, but in Educational Leadership. And naturally, I found one that worked for me: inexpensive, offered by an accredited institution, offered completely online, and I can be done in 3 years (+ dissertation). Yep, I'm there! But I just have to figure out how to fund it, especially since my budget is out of control since I've moved in with my boyfriend. I don't know what the "Hello Kitty" I am doing, but something has to change or I will never get ahead. Now I'm back on Mint and Budget Simple trying to get on track before I lose it all. Time to make my finances a priority...

I've also been doing research for my business, and the next time my life provides for me to make a seminar or class, I will be doing so. The goals are there. Let's get this show on the road!

Friday, September 19, 2014

My So-Called Life

I find it ridiculous that recently my boyfriend has been saying that I don't have a life. Well, last time I checked I was just being a good mom which entails me cramming so much into a day that by the time I had time to have a life, I am too tired. Besides, finding time to do things outside of the house requires finding a sitter which is even more work. Not to mention that before I even had the baby, I wasn't really out and about on the regular. Sure, I traveled, but I was too broke to do it on a dime that wasn't someone else's and constantly without having to double check my check book before doing so.

However, he seems to think that if I did have this "so-called life" I would be more inclined to feel okay with him taking his annual trips to Vegas and to a 5 day music festival. Au contraire though,  because my disapproval or distaste has nothing to do with the trips themselves, but more around the fact that he even still wants to take such trips and leave his girlfriend at home with so much on her plate thanks to his frolicking around the country.

But, perhaps he does have a point somewhere in this ridiculousness of thought. And if I am honest, that is what may be bothering me. I don't have much of a life these days, and I continually feel guilty if I want to, even for the smallest of things. Finding the balance and being okay with being anything but a mom (and a teacher) have been a struggle. People, the struggle is real! Yet, I'm giving myself the time to fall into my new self by observing. Just as I stated in my goals post earlier today, I do still have dreams. I do still have things that I like to do and should do. But when I have him wanting to go above and beyond what I would ever dream of doing, I feel I need to overcompensate to be a better mom to Zavi. So, what do I really do?

I know that women the world over feel like this all of the time, especially as first time mothers. I'm cutting myself a break. I JUST started back to work. I'm still trying to fall into all of this and feel it out. And as much as I try to be the girlfriend who is considerate of a man who still wants to be a boy...okay, okay, sorry...the...man he was pre-baby (why I don't know, but I digress...) I will always have this underlying bone of contention that will never make it easy to absorb without issue. I tell him that he is able to make his own decisions and I have the right to feel as I feel and decide to do what I decide. He doesn't like that answer. Go figure.

Either way, I can do nothing more than what works for me. Call me lifeless if that's how you see it. I'm still living. Most importantly though, I am learning to evaluate how I handle the not-so-nice-aspects of what's coming at me. We shall see where in this "life" that I have (or don't have) have that leaves me. One thing's for sure though, I will live on in happiness. I'm calling it.

...As they used to.

"Still got dreams...they're not the same...They don't fly as high as they used to..."

Just as John Mayer released those words via his "Born and Raised" album, I began to identify with them. It continued on into my pregnancy and have found the idea invading my life as I continue on into motherhood.

Where have my dreams and goals gone?

Contrary to my own original belief, I really do LOVE being a mom! Zavier has given me more substance. And though I was goal setting before for just myself, I feel I have even more reason to set even higher goals with him looking up to me and needing my guidance and care.

Here's the thing: my dreams and goals haven't gone anywhere. They are definitely still there. I still want to live abroad in a Spanish-speaking country. I still want to buy and flip some property for college/graduate students. I still want to open my Moroccan cafe/Spanish tapas bar. I still want a PhD. I still want to be out of debt and well-off. Losing this baby weight needs to happen. Now I just want to involve my son in the process, making sure as I seek to achieve those goals I consider his needs first.

I attempted to talk to my boyfriend about these goals. It was difficult. The problem is that my goals don't line up with his- or lack thereof. When I asked him why he never really shared with me what he wanted to do in the future, he stated that of hanging out and having fun at music festivals and during his annual Vegas trips. Hmm...surface. Sitting pretty. Lack of depth and substance. Not so sure how I feel about that...though he did follow it up with being a good father for his son. That's respectable, though even that answer has not provided much definition to me of exactly what the goal looks like.

Hmm...

I got my paws on Steve Harvey's newest book just yesterday and have already clamored through 100 pages. I have read all of his books, but this one again focuses on the need for goals. As I have always known, having goals and setting ways to achieve them is what keeps a person growing. With out a clear vision, the people perish.

I'm still the same me. My vision is what it is. And just as I always have, once I paint that vision, I am going to see more clearly and want to create another. And it is why I think that some doors close and some windows open. My school district denied my request for reimbursement of the classes I wanted to take. Good- I need a PhD anyway. I am living in a small city with a child and a boyfriend. For some that would be stagnant water, me included. But there is a  big arts scene here. Great- I need a vibrant place to start my business. Plus, here I have financial support to get me out debt living here. I still have my job and will be able to take a sabbatical for travel in the coming years. My gym has daycare...

:-D 

There are blessings that abound. So my dreams, though they be the same take a different form. I'd like them to fly just as they used to if not higher.